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Pastor Refuses to Perform Ceremony because of Bride’s ‘Sexy Dress’

Houston – Apostle Michael Canty of The Truth Ministries Holiness Church recently angered an entire wedding party which might have damaged his new ministry’s reputation, after he refused to marry a bride and groom on their wedding day because he felt her dress was too “sexy”.

Lisa Washington said ‘she’s never been more embarrassed’ when a local pastor refused to officiate Saturday and allow her to wed her groom on their wedding day in his facility. Both families were present and the food was waiting to be served at the bride’s aunt house.

Family members flew and drove long distances to be present for the couples special day. Upset and frustrated, guests at the wedding practically ‘begged’ the leaders of the church to reconsider but to no avail, he wouldn’t change.

“I can’t believe this! I flew here to attend my cousin’s wedding and now I have to put up with this crap. Now this so-called pastor doesn’t want to come out of his office” said the cousin of the bride.

This is the picture sent to AmericaPreachers.com in an email of the dress worn by a professional model from the company’s website.

This is the picture sent to AmericaPreachers.com of the exact style dress worn by a professional model from the company’s website.

The wedding scheduled Saturday, August 10th, was scheduled for 3pm. At 2pm, the pastor greeted the bride and groom when he noticed the bride’s dress. According to the bride’s mother, the pastor jokingly asked ‘where is the other half of the dress?’ Not thinking anything of it, the family laughed it off and continued applying make-up on the bride. Around 2:30pm the pastor asked a leader of the church to ask the bride and the family about the other part of her dress. The bride informed the leader ‘this is it’. The leader reported the news to the pastor and then the pastor informed personally the bride and groom at separate times he could not perform the wedding with the bride in her selected dress. The pastor told the bride she would have to cover up her breast area and find a way to add length to the dress. The bride informed the pastor there is no way to accomplish this with so short of a notice and she has to wear her dress. Then the pastor informed her he would not be able to perform the ceremony then walked back to his office.

The wedding party tried many times to change the pastor’s decision but their efforts were ineffective. Around 4:15pm guests at the wedding were growing impatient and were looking for answers for the delay. When they were told the reason for the delay around 4:35pm their impatience change to anger and disbelief.

After hearing how the bride was crying her eyes out in the back, a minister who was a guest at the wedding offered to perform the ceremony. When the minister asked the pastor for permission to perform the ceremony, the pastor told him ‘no’ and expressed to him how his request was disrespectful.

AmericaPreachers.com asked the bride and groom for pictures of the dress but instead was sent an email with a link of the exact dress worn by a professional model from the company’s website. The bride did mention, ‘there were small alterations made to the dress to fit more desirably to my vision.’ “I’m a unique person, I chose this dress because it’s different than the traditional wedding gown you see at every wedding” the bride said.

Two days later the couple is still not married and is currently looking into options to recoup money their family lost with travel, food, and other expenses.

The Truth Ministries Holiness Church was established 14 months ago and currently rent a converted shoe store for worship services. Calls to Apostle Canty and Truth Ministries were not returned. Neither the bride or groom were members of the church.

Comments

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92 comments

  1. I believe the pastor was not right. For this very reason is the reason many people turn their backs on the church. I too think the dress is rather tasteless for a wedding but I don’t have to wear it. These people paid money that is now wasted for a verbal agreement they had with the pastor. What the pastor should have done was do the wedding and make his future brides aware that certain attire is not permitted in his church and used this situation as a learning tool. Instaed he ruined a families special day and wasted their hard earned money. He was completely out of line the way he handled this!

    • I agree with the Pastor. If she wanted to get married in a dress made for the night club then get married in a night club. She should have known better. Better yet her parents should have known better. Really!

  2. please the pastor is right.if going by this cloth above.it is no longer a wedding gown but a disco party gown.i stand to be corrected.the Pastor will have inform them about their mode of dressing before the wedding day may be they ignore him.now she can see a show of shame on her wedding day.

    • You dumb as hell ignorant an unthoughtful like the pastor, don’t yu think if they was told previously by the pastor they would have went to another place to have their wedding or it would have been mention in the article about the pastor informing them aboit their dress. What planet you from dumb ass. The pastor was dead wrong inconsiderate of the family and friends who spent there hard earn money time and took off from job and travel to come for this special day. Who give him the right to judge them about her dress. I hope he losses all his members!!!

      • Lmao….I guess you told his
        dumb ass! People kill me with their holy than thou attitude when most of them than did everything they were big enough tp do before they got in the church
        THE PASTOR WAS DEAD WRONG POINT BLANK!!!

        • savedandforgiven

          Yes people as unsaved sinners we have done every and anything up under the sun BUT WHEN YOU BECOME SAVED ALL OF THAT IS FORGIVEN!!!!! THE PASTOR WAS RITE. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT A CHURCH. THAT ALONE SAYS RESPECT! CAN YOU BRING A HORSE INTO A STORE? SOMETHING’S ARE JUST COMMON SENSE. … SOME PASTORS HAS STRAYED AWAY FROM GODS PLAN. WHO PLAY BINGO IN CHURCH, I HAVE TWERK PARTIES AT CHURCH…. SHE WILL NOT WIN THAT CASE. OH AND MAYBE HER ENTRANCE SONG WOULD HAVE BEEN DON’T STOP POP THAT P%##Y DOO DOO BROWN. SATAN HAVE CONTROL OF A WHOLE LOT OF PEOPLE MINDS. SAD

        • DistantPhilosopher

          You’re wrong. Point Blank.

        • 1 Peter 13Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance, 15but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior; 16because it is written, “YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.”

          Romans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, in order to prove by you what is that good and pleasing and perfect will of God.
          2 Timothy 4:3 ESV / 8 helpful votes

          2 Timothy 4
          For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions,

          John 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. But because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.
          Thank U Pastor, Man of God for obeying the Word of God!

      • Lol as I sit and look through these comments it comes very clear to see who has the anointing and who does not. Profanity and slandering your neighbor is no way to get your point across. As adults it is our responsibility to mak logical and reasonable discussions and conversations rather than speaking off of shear emotion and feeling. That is a mark of immaturity in a child of God. Now as far as the dress goes. The bride is to blame for the inconvenience to everyone not the pastor. There is a certain way that you dress for different places and occasions. Especially in the house of God. You wouldn’t go to a job interview dressed as you please, you would dress presentable. So why not do the same in church. The bible tells us let a woman adorn herself in modest apparel. That dress was far from modest but rather lustful. As the pastor it is his descion whether he decides to marry you or not. Better for man to be upset with him than God. The scripture supports what he did and he will surely be blessed.

  3. I feel the pastor should have performed that wedding on the basis of time and money spent for that day and then warn the couple not to do that again. But I guess he might have a biblical inference as to why he refused to perform the wedding.

  4. I agree that the pastor should have considered the money spent and gone ahead and performed the ceremony. All he had to do was enlighten her on the moral aspect of her attire, you know like drop her some pearls of (Godly) wisdom. Going forward, he can impose his dress code on future brides. However, if the bride knew of a dress policy and didn’t adhere to it and there is a written contract, then she has a case. If not, then she should be compensated. Alot of women on any given Sunday where inappropriate attire. However, if she comes back enough, something on the inside will change and so will her attire. If this girl is not a member of his church or any other, that was a time for him to win a soul.

    • This is the best reply I’ve seen. The Pastor lost an opportunity to win a soul here. It was very wrong, in my opinion, to ruin an entire wedding like that. The only caveat here is if the couple was told in advance, but it doesn’t seem things happened that way. What a mess.

      • Has a soul really been lost her Chin? I’m not sure if that really is the case here, although, I do agree that this could have been used as an opportunity to open their eyes to the truth. The Pastor is a leader and is ordained so we have to be careful on what we say and how we approach this. This was something that was against church order and not God as He is Love. There was a loss or respect and this would have to be addressed and the church does need to put there foot down on some things. They did not have to be married in the church building. They could have become innovatively spontaneous and move to another location with suggested Reverend. That would have settled it!

    • The dress code comes from 1 Timothy 2:9 KJV –In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety—..in other words modestly and discreetly. Nothing about this dress indicates any discretion. If she wanted to get married she should have just gone to the justice of the peace..
      However to ask a pastor to perform a wedding dressed liked this makes a mockery of the sanctity of marriage, not to mention christianity
      Understand this , as a pastor he is under no obligation to perform a ceremony he is not comfortable doing.
      Most pastors I know will not marry a couple unless they are members of a church and have gone through counseling sessions with a pastor. So going forward this pastor should marry only members. Unfortunately not everyone has discretion. Its appalling that her other family members thought it was ok to dress in this manner for a wedding, especially one being officiated by a minister.

    • I think many in the church are confused today about being “judgmental” and the church having standards. If you are a Christian, it does matter how you dress, inside the church and out. I don’t know why some people think that if somebody is corrected or reprimanded for something that is not in line with a being a child of God, that is going to automatically keep them from giving their lives to Christ. It has nothing to do with their salvation. Salvation is based on them believing by faith and the Holy Spirit convicting them, not because of what somebody has said or done that they didn’t like. The wedding could have been pospotned until she got another dress that was appropriate for the house of God. Evidently, this woman did not know the Lord as Saviour because she would have known better, nor her husband to be. I’m glad the pastor was not intimadated and didn’t compromise because of the money that was spent on the wedding.

  5. The dress is great for a 21 year old heading out to the club on the weekend. The dress is tasteless for the House of God.

    • That dress is utterly inappropriate for ANY Christian woman at ANY time. It might work, barely, as a swimsuit.

      It is not just at church that Christian women (and men!) are to be pure and to refrain from tempting members of the opposite gender to impurity.

      • Frustrated by the church

        Who said she was a Christian? Which is my point. Christians cannot ask non Christians to be accountable to rules they have not accepted for their lives.

        • Which is exactly why she should not have desired a Christian wedding if she was NOT a Christian. It’s not ludicrous for the pastor tobelieve this woman wanted a Christian wedding

  6. vitanus from Nigeria

    This is absolutely crazy all in the name of money, does the lady or husband knows what marriage is about? No wonder young marriages crashes this days, divorce every now and then. Good job Pastor, you are called by God and working for God and not for men

    • “This is absolutely crazy all in the name of money, does the lady or husband knows what marriage is about? No wonder young marriages crashes this days, divorce every now and then. Good job Pastor, you are called by God and working for God and not for men”

      Maybe you can tell us which of “God’s laws” were broken by her choice of dress?

    • Amen!!!

  7. I find it difficult to understand how a man who wants to wed will bring his bride in half nudity and ask a pastor to bless her. It would have been more acceptable if they had gone to Hollywood and get one actor acting as a priest to conduct the wedding. Don’t forget the Lord’s Prayer – Lead us not into temptation. It is not unlikely that the devil wanted to use the wedding as a point of contact to destroy the new church. I commend the courage of the pastor.

  8. Apostle Canty, Truth Ministries and the other key word – HOLINESS church….may our God continue to bless you and your ministry!!! You were challenged by the enemy and you stood for what you and our Lord loves…the truth. Next time preacher, you should only officiate your church members as the article says the couple were not members of your church.
    For you to stand for what you believe to be right in the sight of God and not man, is what is going to seperate us from the wheat and the tares.
    Everybody was more concerned about what the family (men) spent, you were concerned about what God requires us to be – holy. Our God is not sleeping and He is surely not dead!!

    • “Everybody was more concerned about what the family (men) spent, you were concerned about what God requires us to be – holy. Our God is not sleeping and He is surely not dead!!”

      I don’t care what the family spent.

      Yes, God requires us to be holy, and that includes marriage for those who might otherwise burn with passion.

      These people were ignoring the societal messages about wanton sex and tried to act in accordance with God’s will-marriage.

      The pastor frustrated their efforts to do the right thing.

      This sort of stupidity is why churches fail our society so spectacularly.

    • Frustrated by the church

      I don’t think he was challenged by the enemy. He was trying to make a buck and he clouded his judgment. Why else would he have done a wedding for someone not in the church? And he did not discuss anything with the couple who was can assume are not Christians? He failed in more ways that one. I do pray that God blesses him… with wisdom.

  9. The word tells us to do things in right way and in order, the dress was not fitting for a church, but as a for the pastor he should have it all in writing for non-members and he should have counsel them first.
    There is a lesson in this matter for sure on so many levels.

  10. Please don’t let us blame this Pastor for refusing to conduct this wedding. This cloth does not glorify God at all. If he had wedded them, the press would have also covered it and everybody would have condemned the Pastor. Clothes are made to cover our nakedness especially that they were to be wedded.

    • “Please don’t let us blame this Pastor for refusing to conduct this wedding. This cloth does not glorify God at all. If he had wedded them, the press would have also covered it and everybody would have condemned the Pastor. Clothes are made to cover our nakedness especially that they were to be wedded.”

      And his refusal to marry them somehow glorifies God?!?

      Please. Aside from there not being a single scripture that forbids short dresses for brides on wedding days (and I defy ANYONE to find me one), the pastor actually DISCOURAGED the couple from doing the right thing, may have actually placed HIS sense of fashion over God’s will for the couple, and may have actually contributed to their future sins-if they fornicated after they otherwise SHOULD have been married and before they found a way to get married.

  11. Hmmmmm, I Wonder What Goes On In All These Critics Lives That Is Ungodly….A Lot Of Stones Being Thrown Around…..#GlassHouses

    • The Pastor is right as Biblical support for modesty and for honoring a marriage relationship abound.

      Regardless of what others do, the Word of God should always apply.

      Loss of money does not warrant going against God’s Word or one’s conscience.

      Blessings to the Church and Pastor.

      • “The Pastor is right as Biblical support for modesty and for honoring a marriage relationship abound.

        Regardless of what others do, the Word of God should always apply.

        Loss of money does not warrant going against God’s Word or one’s conscience.

        Blessings to the Church and Pastor.”

        Modesty? In whose eyes?

        This couple submitted to God in wanting to be married. How does a short dress dishonor a marriage or God?!?

        The husband didn’t seem to have a problem with it.

        The bride didn’t have a problem with it.

        The only people who have a problem with it is the pastor who put his fashion sense arguably above God’s will for that couple to be married and above common sense, and holier than thou sorts posing as modern day Pharisees in judging this woman.

  12. all you holly rollers get off ur high horse this is 2013 u lie u cheat u steal u do other things that we will not talk about . he who has no sin throw the first stone

    • Mr Woods, it is not proper for you to lump everybody into the same boat. Not everybody in the church lies, steals, cheats or lives lifestyles of sin, just like not every person in the world is a murderer, thief, liar, etc. That pastor did what he felt was right. As I stated earlier, maybe he had a problem with lust. You’re a man. You know if you had someone’s boobs staring at you, it would be hard for you to concentrate on performing a wedding. Don’t act like you wouldn’t. It’s a shame that pastors get beat down for standing up for holiness. And for the record, you must HAVE NO SIN because you sure are throwing stones.

  13. It is distasteful on how you people trying to judge, if this lady choice to wear the dress she want who give the pastor the right to make décision like that. I disagree with how the pastor responded it was tasteless inconsiderate and out of line Florida friends and familywho travel and spent their hard earned money to come down. I hope he losses all his fellowship and members after pulling a stunt like that. Who would want to follow him after destroying a woman special day. And all you on here that agree with pastor a a bunch of lonely miserable old hags and hypocrites with no life. Yall just life plain sad!!!

  14. First I applaud the couple for getting married in a time where people are shacking up this was a good thing. I don’t see how the pastor has the right to what the bride chose to wear, it’s not up to him, his job is to bring the couple in unity before God which is what they were trying to do regardless of the dress she wore. For another pastor to step in and preform the ceremony and he says no if i was the bride if we had to stand in the parking lot or the street a wedding was going to be done that day that is what they paid for. I think the pastor was wrong for what he did.

  15. It seems as if the majority of people who have a problem with this are females. As I female, I’m going against the current in saying that I agree with the Pastor. While I also agree that if there wasn’t one, the Pastor should’ve created a clause in the agreement about the bride’s attire, her dress could cause other men to sin by lusting after her (see Matthew 5:28). Her intimate parts should be reserved for her husband’s eyes only. She can still be unique while at the same time being modest.

    For those of you saying that it is 2013, and how people shouldn’t judge or throw stones, the Pastor is doing what he is supposed to do by teaching and enforcing. 1 Timothy 2:9 says that women should adorn themselves in modest apparel–this includes the bride. Yes, times do change, but God and His Word does not! In conclusion, I commend this Pastor for standing up to his principles and the Word!

    • “the Pastor is doing what he is supposed to do by teaching and enforcing. 1 Timothy 2:9 says that women should adorn themselves in modest apparel–this includes the bride. Yes, times do change, but God and His Word does not! In conclusion, I commend this Pastor for standing up to his principles and the Word!”

      This is the NIV text…

      “I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes,”

      1. This isn’t Christ talking.
      2. According to this, women are also precluded from having “elaborate hairstyles.” Had she had an “appropriate dress” and gone to the hairdresser before the wedding, would he have been right to deny the wedding then?!?

      3. “Expensive clothes” are also discouraged by the text. According to whose standard? A homeless woman might find a typical wedding dress exorbitant and cost prohibitive. A woman earning an average salary might find a wedding dress a celebrity might wear expensive? Is a bride obligated to get a wedding dress from Goodwill?!?

      This is why using scripture to govern your life is silly.

    • People, you have got to be kidding me. Do we really have folks out there so ignorant of what is and is not appropriate for church wear that we have to make up excuses for the brides inability to understand what is and is not appropriate for a wedding dress? Has this woman (or her mother or brides maids) ever been to a church? If so, I’d like to know what “church ” she and her family attend that would cause her to believe her choice of gown was appropriate. In fact, the lack of decorum she showed makes one wonder why she wanted a church wedding in the first place.

  16. The Pastor should have asked them to make alterations to the dress. For example ask the Bride to wear a shawl, etc. I don’t agree with his refusal to conduct the service. Also I agree with some of the comments stating that this should have been discussed prior to the service. We tend to think that people know… Don’t ever assume. You know what they say when we ASSUME. Especially if they were not members of the church. I have visited many churches and the Pastor shares their beliefs and do’s and don’ts. I am not sure that this happened here.

  17. The only thing that I think is “wrong here” is the Pastor forbidding another minister to preside over the service. He could have held his convictions and disapproved but not forbid. The only thing that I think is “wrong here” is the Pastor forbidding another minister to preside over the service. The Pastor could have held to his convictions and disapproved but not forbid the other minister. That is the only here infringement here.
    If we are really talking imposition, it would be an imposition for the family to demand the Pastor put aside his convictions to service the ceremony.
    It would be an imposition for the Pastor to demand that the Bride change before he presides.
    It would be an imposition for the pastor to forbid another “man of God” to preside.
    I will not go into contracts, legal, religious issues, or pure common sense in planning; because this is really not about that. It is really about ethical behavior; it is about respecting the rights, and privileges of others. What year it is, morality, how much money was spent, what the Bible says, are all positional issues and vary from a person’s cultural/personal perspective.
    But, what is always right is allowing one to act ethically. This is what most people in this article did not do; including the Pastor.

  18. Maybe the pastor didn’t want to fall into lust. I mean, the dress is obviously provocative, sensual and sexual. He, as a man of GOD probably didn’t want to be staring at her breasts. I commend him for that (if that was his reasoning). He may have had an encounter with GOD and was told not to do it because of the provocativeness of the dress. Had he spoken to the bride and groom BEFORE the wedding, this could have been avoided and the couple could have had the chance to pick another venue. As to the person who said, “this is why people don’t come to church”, I’m actually sick of that reason people don’t go to church. Many don’t go to church because they don’t want to come out of darkness and serve GOD in the light. We are to serve GOD for ourselves, not based on what others may or may not be doing. GOD, I don’t think, will say “Ok, my child. They didn’t act right in church but I excuse you for not serving me because of their behavior”….NOT!
    I pray the pastor is fair concerning the couple’s loss of money. I know it was her big day, but people need to learn how to respect the house of GOD. (I know somebody is going to say GOD does not dwell in buildings made with hands because we are the temple of the Holy Ghost, but since it is set up as church or “the house of GOD”, people should respect that. “#nuffsaid”

    • That’s funny when people say, “That why people don’t go to church”, as if it’s because of someone else being rude. People are rude everywhere you go. People are rude at grocery stores and fast food restaurants but you still go shopping there right?? LOL Don’t blame other people for your decisions or behavior. #just my opinion

      • … except that people being rude at grocery stores or fast food restaurants doesn’t reflect a larger problem with a spiritual ideology and by the way, plenty of people do just go somewhere else when they continue to encounter the same rudeness or poor service at a store or restaurant. It’s easy because there are plenty. There aren’t always plenty of nearby churches and many have the same exact problem.

        Church isn’t necessary to “come out of the darkness”. Chunks of wood nailed together to make four walls aren’t needed to commune with or build a relationship with God. People choose to go to church to worship among a community and be guided by one supposedly appointed by God as his witness.

        When there’s no community and no guidance only rejection, judgment (that’s reserved for God and God alone), and being stamped down, church is no longer serving its purpose so you’re going to do something you could be doing on your own. Strengthening your faith and your closeness to the Lord.

        So people who say that other people are why they don’t go to church are completely justified and perhaps understand the purpose better than the rest of you do. But I guess there are still plenty of people who think that simply showing up to sit in a building every week means you’re serving God in the light even if you’re being just as wicked in his “house” as you are on the street…

    • Maybe men should take more responsibility for their own desire than blaming women for their lack of self control. If a woman can see a man with his chest hanging out and not be fixated on it all day but a man can’t see cleavage without “falling into lust”, that sounds like his problem, not hers.

      • People, you have got to be kidding me. Do we really have folks out there so ignorant of what is and is not appropriate for church wear that we have to make up excuses for the brides inability to understand what is and is not appropriate for a wedding dress? Has this woman (or her mother or brides maids) ever been to a church? If so, I’d like to know what “church ” she and her family attend that would cause her to believe her choice of gown was appropriate. In fact, the lack of decorum she showed makes one wonder why she wanted a church wedding in the first place.

  19. The church is not your opportunity to express your uniqueness and personality. You have many more opportunities for that. The Pastor only did what he felt was right. The same way we make decisions daily on what we feel is right. I wonder if the groom saw the dress? Think about showing your wedding photos 20 yrs from now to your children or grandchildren. Would you be proud to show your wedding photos to your children? We all have the right to make our own decisions just like this Pastor did.

  20. Yes, You folks are right! The Bride had the right to wear what she wanted, and you’re also right to say the Pastor has the Spiritual duty to uphold the tenets of Faith that the couple so decisively sought and the positions of Decorum to the occasion, the venue and the Faith. The matter of their not being affiliated with the church is indicative of their ignorance, contempt or frivolity You have a “Right” to do what you want, and I have a “Right” to not accept it. If you figure you can shove it down my throat, I can halt all attempts to present what I consider Un-Christian.

  21. It seems to me, that if the woman really wanted to get married,nothing would have stopped her…not even a request/demand to change the dress. Her attitude gives hint to something more concerning…was she there for the marriage or simply there for the wedding?

  22. This is a really sad episode that did not have to take place. I must say that the Pastor put himself in such a fix of having to decline wedding them by not initially making known to them what the dress code for the day was. Had the bride and groom none this, I’m sure they either would have complied with the expectations of the Church or found another Church (most a non God-fearing one) to perform the wedding ceremony for them.

    By all indiction, it seems he did not give them any premarital counselling either. I suppose this is a hard lesson for others, including Pastors.

  23. The church is a sanctuary. It’s God’s house and the Pastor is the Manager and management and owner have their expectations, rules and guidelines. In the article it doesnt appear that the Pastor knew them. The Pastor should have sat with both bride and groom together to discuss his expectations of them if he is to perform their ceremony in a House of the Lord. I have seen people plan church weddings and unintentionally disregard that it is the House of God 24/7, not just on Sundays. The nightclub has a dress code and we accept the dress code they feel is appropriate to be around booze, sexual music, drunkenness, cussing and people that are high. Why are we offended by a dress code that church deems appropriate to being around a Pastor, God’s presence, the Holy Spirit, etc? It is also unfortunate that everyone used their energy to be angry(per article), that energy could have been used to find a backyard, park, parking lot, somewhere to keep the wedding going on as planned. My fam and I would have found a place to get it started. LOL We serve God first then man. Love you all!

  24. This is a free country – The bride has the freedom to wear what she wants to her wedding; The pastor has the right to set decency standards in his church. In this unfortunate instance, their rights clashed….but neither right trumps the other. She is free to go to have her ceremony at a place that is not opposed to her clothing choice.

  25. That dress I’m sure would not be allowed in the courthouse standing before a judge. So why should it be allowed in God’s house?!? I’m glad that Pastor took a stand, standards need to start somewhere and the best way to start is from the beginning. If the ‘boys’ had been stopped from going beltless and wearing ‘much too large size pants’ way back when, the boys of today would not be doing it now but instead be dressing like handsome young men they we’d be proud to hire. And to everyone criticizing the Pastor had better be careful how they talk because the Bible does say “Touch not my annointed…” (1 Chronicles 16:22, Psalms 105:15) and God will deal with them for it.

    I pray that this Pastor, like my Pastor and Bishop continues to stand up for what is right before God even if he is alone because he has to answer to God, not men.

  26. In referencing of this dress, though I personally believe in an old fashioned wedding dress, it is still the right of the bride to choose her dress and have the wedding that she has dreamed of. So many people here talk about the dress as being acceptable for going to a club but not for a wedding is as sanctimonious as it comes. If you were a true christian as everyone claims to be you would realize that the comment is hypocritical in and of itself, for as a christian the bible not only says that you should wear clothing of a modest appearance but it also says that you should not adorn your body, that your body is a temple of God. So why is it ok for you to go out partying and drinking and dressing this way to go to the club and than go to church on Sunday and act as though you are better than others. I grew up in a Pentecostal Church and yes this is very unnacceptable dress no matter how you look at it but at the same time, the Pastor should of informed the couple prior to the wedding. I have attended weddings where the pastor will allow a Deacon to perform the ceremony if the couple is not from the church such as my old church, our pastor would only perform the ceremony if the couple were from the church and if they have never been married before, but if one or both of the couple have been divorced than the pastor would refuse to marry the couple and the bride was not allowed to wear a white bridal dress. The bride in this story made a bad judgement call as to the style of the dress however the pastor was right to refuse and very wrong at the same time. That’s all there is to it.

  27. 1) If the pastor wasn’t so concerned about raking in money by marrying people who weren’t members, he may have prevented this.

    2) People nowadays are being raised by parents who are only 12, 13, 14 years older than them. That is why we see not much common sense being passed down. This bride obviously thought nothing wrong of her attire, and I’ve seen MANY women who marry in dresses like this, especially people from hoods and inner cities. What do they know about traditional gowns and tuxedos? That is not their style and probably wouldn’t wear it anyways. If this woman could even afford a traditional gown, she wouldn’t be having her reception in her aunt’s backyard!

    3) Forcing women to cover themselves on the sole ground of not rousing a man is exactly why you see Muslim women covered from head-to-toe in all black. Men should take responsibility for their reactions. If I walked down the street naked, it wouldn’t give a man any right to touch me, approach me, or disrespect me.

    4) When believers and even nonbelievers know that the pastor is sleeping with the women (and even some of the men) in the church, the choir director is gay, and the funds are being used to support lavish lifestyles of church leaders… who really is respecting the sanctity of churches anymore? The megachurches care more about money and less about how the congregants are dressed. He wouldn’t turn her away if she was tithing, I guarantee you!

  28. Gondim Paul Godfrey

    The Pastor should be commended 4 following the right part. The bride should have trow her pride, & rent another gown from nearby shop, & after the church ceremony, she can then wear her sexy dress 4 her husban & families. Not in the church of God, I beg.

  29. Gondim Paul Godfrey

    The pastor is right.

  30. In 15 years of ministry I have never briefed a bride on what is appropriate attire and never thought I would need to until now. You don’t have to be a Christian to know that this dress is extremely inappropriate for a church wedding. Check that, this dress is inappropriate for any wedding. She did not get it out of a wedding catalogue. Then she said that she had it altered even more, which probably is why she didn’t send in the actual picture of her wearing the dress but sent a stock photo instead.

    It is time out for all of you who think that the church is suppose to accept any and everything. It is not loving to allow people to stay in their sinful ways and to even bring it into the church and say you are doing it in the name of Love, in order to win people. Then throwing around don’t judge me or God looks at the inside not the outside as a way to refute the enforcement of biblical standards. But it is God who instructs us to wear modest clothing. When I hear people say you can’t clean fish before you catch them and let this and that go so you can win people as a justification for compromise it really bothers me. That is not biblical evangelism. The Gospel message is and always has been repent, the Kingdom of God is at hand. We all sin and fall short of God’s glory and we are all in need of a saviour. But God is not desperate, He has standards and they don’t change in order to make Christianity more appealing to people who don’t want to change and ultimately don’t want God but do want some of the benefits of being in relationship with God without actually being in a relationship with Him. The church has got to understand what Jesus said is true, the world hated Him and it will hate us.

    Having said that I must also add that I personally do not sell my ministerial/pastoral services to non-believers/non-members, in that I only counsel and perform weddings for the members of the church I lead. I talk to non-believers about Jesus and salvation but I am doing that as my Christian duty not as a pastoral duty. My pastoral responsibility is only to the people I shepherd.

    • Amen!!!

    • And why should you as a minister need to brief what is and is not appropriate for a wedding in a church? If this woman had ever attended a church, she would have known her dress was inappropriate in the first place. Her mother should have told her it was wrong long before she showed up. But I guess we’ll have to “excuse” this young woman’s poor choice due to the influences of the society she has grown up in, rap music, hip hop and role models such as Lady Ga Ga, Miley Cyrus, Snoop Lion, etc. Personal responsibility is so… uncool.

  31. I commend this pastor. I am sure many people have not read this part of the scriptures before.
    …know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.” (James 4:4).
    Many issues have been raised here
    1. The bride reseves the right to be unquely herself on her wedding day.
    Were this lady to appear before UN general assembly to receive an award, would she have appeared dressed like this? Afterall it would have been ‘her day’ too. I guess its perfectly in order to go a long way to ‘dress’ for the occassion if we were meeting international figures but go in a state of ‘undress’ to the presence of God the owner of all heavens and earth.
    2. The Pastor should have informed her about dress code.
    I was on a flight that had a stop over in one of those muslim countries enroute to London sometime back. Our stop over was for 2 hours and we were made to board another aircraft to London. As we were arriving d muslim country, while still in flight, I noticed a lady who had boarded in Lagos putting on an extremely short, barely-there shorts without any prompting changed into a full dress. Im sure she could have waited to be seen that way in that country and await airport officials to ‘counsel’ her how to dress for the situation. Is it not a wonder that we fear men and disrespect God?
    I wonder why it is business sense to find out codes of conduct and dressing by ourselves before we embark on business trips to other countries while we expect pastors to start a school to teach us how to conduct ourselves in the premises of the house of God.
    “And they come to Jesus, and see him that was possessed with the devil, and had the legion, sitting, and CLOTHED, and in his RIGHT MIND: and they were afraid.” (Mark 5:15). Understand this, being half dressed, in the open, is some kind of insanity.
    3. The Pastor should have considered the cost that went into the marriage preparations.
    This is another wonder. I have read, and severally too, that ‘sunk cost’ is not a major determiner when considering terminating or advancing a project. If all of a sudden you discover that certain products being imported from a far east country, for which you are in a position to grant entry permision into your country, do not exactly meet standards specified by your country, will you consider the cost already incurred by the manufacturer as a basis for allowing non-conforming products into your country? It is only things that pertain to God that qualify for being determined on the basis of how much has been spent. A wise man once said ”no matter how long or how much has gone into heading a wrong direction, you will never arrive at the destination intended until you turn around”
    4. The Pastor should manage his emotions
    It is strange how double standards apply depending on what part of the divide we are-the beneficiary or the offended. Now that this lady is the ‘beneficiary’ in this circumstance, the old and time tested advise we give to children and adults alike -”it is maturity to walk away from provocation” no longer hold water. Im sure one or two of us would also have read in the scripture to ”flee from all appearances of evil”. How then has this pastor done wrong if his strenght, in the face of temptation, is to walk away?
    5. The lady is at lliberty to wear whatever she zpleases.
    Agreed! I am sure we all agree that the limit of one’s liberty is the border of another’s offence. Except the Bible is no more the standard operating manual for every christian then will we be in disagreement with the scriptural admonition- ”…But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.” (1 Cor 8:9)
    6. The Pastor should have allowed the other pastor conduct the ceremony.
    I am sure that for all the people who fly this argument, allowing others to give and receive bribes on our premises or business facility, considering that we had declined to be part of it, is in order as long as we are not the ones being bribed or demanding bribe. I am also sure that it will be in order to allow a couple who do not share our beliefs of not exposing our intimate parts or even not making love in the presence of our children to come visiting and go on to display this behaviour in our home and in the presence of our children as long as we are not ones doing it.
    7. Ethics, ethics and ethics
    Ethics is not just about refraining from doing wrong, its a code of conduct that also demands that wrongdoing is not perpetuated to our knowledge as long as it is within our capacity to prevent a wrongful action from being carried out.
    In summary, Luke 17vs 1-2. says ”… There will always be temptation to sin but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting. 2. It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these ones to fall into sin” (NLT)

  32. I’ll bet he’ll come up with a set of guidelines before the next non-member wedding!!! LMAO

    • Sad but true. Sad that people wanting to be married in a church have to be reminded that a church is “God’s House” and that morale standards are expected of all who enter. True that some will feel that this is unfair to prospective brides, by limiting their “right” to express themselves.

  33. He was just upset he couldn’t have a piece of that.

  34. i too agree with the Pastor…

  35. This is what happens when the world tries to shame us into not discerning what is right and wrong. At the end of the day everyone will stand and give an account to that same God who is the ONLY one who can judge. People do not realize that is can and He will. How will it sound when this bride says that she picked the dress and insisted that it should be accepted as appropriate? How do you really think that will sound to a holy and just God. I am not trying to throw stones. But let’s be honest nowadays if feels more like people are daring you to throw stones at them.

  36. Someone needs to take a stand and if this person finds the behavior offensive who are you to tell him he’s wrong????

  37. Sorry miss brown your dress pattern just a mirrow to your soul,

  38. The couple is adult and ought to know the difference between a Christian wedding dress and a party wear. From the picture, the bride dress is a party wear not a wedding dress, hence the pastor did right

  39. Anyone who chooses to be married in an abandoned shoe store, dressed like a hooker, by a preacher they do not know from a church they don’t belong to, well, they shouldn’t be surprised when it all goes bad.

  40. This is an example of lowered standards regarding appropriateness for the circumstances in this case the wedding, in this world today. Why any woman, family or friends would not let her know that this is an inappropriate dress for her special day I will never understand. She could have chosen “sexy” as in a strapless body hugging longer length gown or dress???

    Why didn’t she simply go to Vegas if she wanted to dress in that fashion? it is her dress choice yes and it is the Pastor’s choice to say no or offer the bride a cover for her nearly naked body then let the pictures be taken after the ceremony. I am not a prude however I would be shocked as a minister.

  41. I believe there’s a war raging here: between light and darkness and we are all responding from either sides of the divide. But one thing is sure, “the evil bows before the good and the wicked at the gate of the righteous.” Good will always win. And God is good. He is light and in him is no darkness at all.

    My personal conviction is that the pastor was right. Absolutely!

  42. That pastor is WRONG and he is a part of why people are not interested in the church. First, he was insulting to mock her dress, second he was judgmental (which never wins anyone to Christ), and third he is clueless as to how to relate to those outside of the church.

    Maybe when he was looking to make a quick buck by doing a ceremony for a non church member, he might have considered that they may not share his conservative thoughts. He totally failed to discuss his curmudgeon code, and as a result did not keep his word. And how many of those church guests now think more highly of the church… I am sure not a single one.

    Maybe he should convert the church back a a shoe store? It might serve the community better. (I am not kidding… we don’t need more judgmental churches.)

    And as for all of the other judgmental people here calling her a hooker… really? Is that what Jesus did? when he met the woman in adultery did he say “away from me you whore” or did he speak to her in love. When Christians get off their high, judgmental, horses, then and only then will we see the church operate in the authority Christ gave her. I don’t question as all why God is not present on most churches.

    And the dress? It’s HOT! Perhaps his wife has lost her desire to look good for her man, so he struggles looking at beautiful women. Maybe he is in sexual sin, so taking this stand makes him look more upright in public (not judging, but raising the questions). Yes, I am hard on pastors because too many of them are clowns and disgracing the name of Jesus. If I did that ceremony, I would have probably said “what an absolutely beautiful couple we have here today.”

    If you are jealous because you can’t pull that dress off, or because your woman can’t pull it off. Get over it and take responsibility for your life.

    If I have offended you… good! That’s what Jesus did when he spoke the truth. Before you come back with some lame out of context scripture reference, talk to the Father and ask Him to check your heart.

    Think about it. This was an opportunity to reach someone who was not in the church, and I am assuming they were not Christians because they would have had a home church. What a failure in evangelism.

    I’ll stop now… but I am just tired of all of the BS that goes on in the church, and in the name of God.

  43. @kingdomstar – Your post makes no sense. You start out by saying you commend the pastor, then list all of the things he did wrong. What in the world are you commending him for? It’s certainly not for modeling What Jesus would do. And you quote of James 4:4 was out of context. Jesus didn’t hang with arrogant Christians, he hung out with SINNERS. It’s the sick that need a doctor… when Christians stop hanging our in their cliques, they will see that there are lost people around them who needs a Savior, not a judgmental pastor who gives a rip about a dress.

  44. We live in a country where pastors aren’t free! Afterall, the pastor is able to perform through her money; I’m sure she paid! She deserves to choose her place of marriage and what to wear. We live in America people with freedom! Nothing ever says to get married you have to be of Catholic or Christian belief. If I were of religious belief, I would say having a Facebook is evil and is unneeded nonsense, but then again we all have equal freedom. I think her dress is just as baloney as Facebook. There have been more evil caused by Facebook than this young ladies dress.

  45. The other pastor should have been allowed to do the ceremony even though the dress was a bit too sexy!

  46. The Parable of the Wedding Banquet (Mt 22:1-14)

    “…11 And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment:

    12 And he saith unto him, Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? And he was speechless.

    13 Then said the king to the servants, Bind him hand and foot, and take him away, and cast him into outer darkness, there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

    14 For many are called, but few are chosen.”

    [What we find for the guest, ever the more shall be applied to the bride. So, again, Jesus taught in parables:]

    The Parable of the Wise and Foolish Virgins (Mt 25:1-13)

    “1 Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Now five of them were wise, and five were foolish…
    6 “And at midnight a cry was heard: ‘Behold, the bridegroom is coming;[a] go out to meet him!’
    7 Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps.
    8 And the foolish said to the wise, ‘Give us some of your oil, for our lamps are going out.’
    9 But the wise answered, saying, ‘No, lest there should not be enough for us and you; but go rather to those who sell, and buy for yourselves.’
    10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came, and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding; and the door was shut.

    11 “Afterward the other virgins came also, saying, ‘Lord, Lord, open to us!’
    12 But he answered and said, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, I do not know you.’

    13 “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour[b] in which the Son of Man is coming.

    [Because the teachable moment has already been established, we now hear testimonies of the manifested weeping and gnashing of teeth.]

  47. Pastor Kenyatta t Cobb Sr.

    As I read many of the comments on this Pastor it is important that we remember He Must answer to God
    for what he says and does Ref: EZEKIEL 3 : 1-27. Least we whom are call to proclaim the Glory of Gods Grace take lightly the Office we’ve been called to. I’m speaking to those which are truly called. This is no game, the preacher who stands at the Gate must not allow him or herself to be directed by the influences of society. It’s not about popularity. So in closing I must say there was a teachable moment. When the Pastor said no I can do this because of who I am, and who’s I am. He reminded all of us that God is Holy and His Servants are to be Holy also. By the way You think she mite have worn that outfit if the Pope was doing the wedding. No because of who he is and his office. As with many pastor he had no idea this young lady would come to the wedding dressed in that nature.

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